A work in progress 

I’m not doing well, there’s this dizziness that makes it impossible to function.  And such extreme weakness that most of the time I can’t sit up.  Fortunately one of the people I turn to for help, who does acupuncture among other things, says I don’t need to function, that this is part of the healing process.  I’m so thrilled.

The Husband helped me stack pillows because my hands aren’t up to the job, and I can’t support myself even to type on the iPad.

I am not feeling sorry for myself, my attitude is great given my situation.  I hope this woman is right and that this is a part of the healing process.  *sigh*. Otherwise… it’s a good thing I’ve started to get rid of things, to clear my decks as it were.

Anyway, that’s why I have been least-in-sight.  In the meantime here’s a poem I’ve been working on.  Not finished, but what ever is?

A brain

A finger and a brain 

An iPad, a finger and a brain 

It’s all I need 

Except

Two hands to plump the pillows

And dexterity and balance

Filling a water glass

Fortunately they don’t have to be mine

And faith

Lots and lots of faith.

Places (poetry)

I went to the zoo in Be’er Sheva and took lots of photos.  Instead of sharing them, though, I have a poem that might be almost finished.  So here it is:

I come from a place of ugliness,

     Pain and distrust

     Fear

I live in a place of beauty,

     Yet still in pain

     Faith

It is the same place,

    It’s all in how I look at it

     Love

Sometimes there is no choice.  When I was a kid, life was fear and pain, loneliness.  Back then I had no choice, even though there was one adult on my side.  He’s the reason I’m still here.  Now I have a choice.  Fear and pain are there, but I choose not to participate.  I choose Faith.  And Love.  Life is good today.

Struggling with the language

I don’t know why

I can’t see

All that I do is

     Learning to be.

I learned how to hurt

I learned how to work 

I never learned just

     How to be me.

I talk the talk

I walk the walk

I breathe and pray

     But still don’t see

There are beautiful flowers 

And donkeys and goats

And a camera for photos

    Little girl that was me.

I’m not entirely happy with this, but there is nothing more I can do with it.  *sigh*

Laterz