A work in progressĀ 

I’m not doing well, there’s this dizziness that makes it impossible to function.  And such extreme weakness that most of the time I can’t sit up.  Fortunately one of the people I turn to for help, who does acupuncture among other things, says I don’t need to function, that this is part of the healing process.  I’m so thrilled.

The Husband helped me stack pillows because my hands aren’t up to the job, and I can’t support myself even to type on the iPad.

I am not feeling sorry for myself, my attitude is great given my situation.  I hope this woman is right and that this is a part of the healing process.  *sigh*. Otherwise… it’s a good thing I’ve started to get rid of things, to clear my decks as it were.

Anyway, that’s why I have been least-in-sight.  In the meantime here’s a poem I’ve been working on.  Not finished, but what ever is?

A brain

A finger and a brain 

An iPad, a finger and a brain 

It’s all I need 

Except

Two hands to plump the pillows

And dexterity and balance

Filling a water glass

Fortunately they don’t have to be mine

And faith

Lots and lots of faith.

After the dentist…

I wanted to post photos.  I wanted to write status updates and poetry.  Instead I’ve been studying Hebrew, knitting, and going to the dentist.  I’ve spent the most time on the first two, but the most energy on the last.  I’m not done.  That was the least of it, losing it and crying, and clinging to The Husband’s hand.  Over filling a small cavity.  What will I do for the big one, when I have to sit in the chair for an hour while he fixes a root canal gone bad?

I was horribly abused by a dentist when I was a child.  Hitting me over the head with steel instruments when I squirmed or cried was the least of it.  If that was all I would go and get dental care relatively calmly.  I know because I worked at it for years with a good and patient dentist in the U.S.  Unfortunately, I was not so lucky when I moved with TH and the kids to Israel..  Bad dentist after incompetant dentist (there were a couple of good ones, but my continuing decline in health and a move to the south lost them for me), culminating in the one who drilled directly into a nerve without any anesthetic.  And the clinic staff argued with me ‘oh, we would never do that!’  

The botched root canal my current, good and patient dentist needs to fix is like the sixth tooth I have lost as a result of this bad dentistry.  From filling the wrong cavity to not cleaning a cavity thoroughly before it was filled, to the root canal that needs to be fixed to the tooth I lost because I lost the one below and it just descended into the space – without even mentioning to me that that was something that could happen, it is a wonder I am willing to see a dentist at all.  Leave alone trust him.  But I do.

However, going to the dentist takes a lot of energy, and I haven’t got a lot.  So, I may not be writing very much until this is done.  Sorry.

Sick

Not really, but the best one word description of why I haven’t, and am not, posting photos either of the calaniot, or the trip to the zoo last Thursday.  It has been cold, rainy, and dark, and I’ve been suffering a great deal of pain.  I just went to the acupuncturist and am doing much better but now there is a cat on my lap so just a little note with the help of my iPad.  So long and stay warm.  šŸ™‚

Just BecauseĀ 

I have been working as I can on poetry, and photography, but mostly enduring cold winds and pain which makes other occupations difficult.

I Did start knitting a string bag because I can.  I have three unfinished knitting projects right beside me, but I am not in good enough physical shape and haven’t been making progress on them.  It occurred to me that if I started something simple, on large needles, it would keep my knitting muscles in shape and not require much investment in time or brain-power.

So here’s three night’s work, fifteen stitches on LARGE needles:  

It would be pretty pathetic if I compare it to the knitting I was able to do a year ago, but compared to what I did last week (nothing) it’s terrific!  As I am learning to walk again and other such physical things, I get to return to being a beginning knitter.  Fun.

The cat is taking a nap on my computer keyboard 

So this is typed with one finger using the WordPress app on my iPad.  So many different ways to do the same thing, so instead of working on getting my typing speed up (for instance) I am trying out all the different ways I can communicate here.  With Kitten’s help, of course.

My dog Chamudah is lying between my legs and partially under the bed table, no photo, it’s the table that has the laptop and Kitten on it.  It is really cold here, but the wind has died down, thank goodness.  Thank goodness also for the mohair shawl, a thermal blanket and a down-filled comforter.  I was just on the phone explaining to someone that I have a lot of practice being grateful and looking at what I have rather than what is (I perceive to be) missing.  In my life, except for the pain, all is good.  Even the pain might be good, but I’m not willing to go there right now.  Now I’d better go.  This works well for me, maybe even better than dictation.  Need to remember that.  Laterz