I started this blog with one idea, and it morphed into another and yet another. Perhaps I ought to have started several different blogs, but I’m still not up to speed in blogging, profiles, all this stuff, so I had enough starting this one. I look back to when I began, and I have an almost completely different group of readers. So it goes, I guess. I’ve never been into numbers; I am into connection. If something I write, or some photo or photos I post makes a connection with one other person, I am satisfied.
So, about a year ago I had a drastic change in my physical circumstances. Besides mind-blowing pain; my left, and dominant hand stopped working almost entirely. My feet became numb so that although I can walk, I am wobbly at best. I have little energy. I cannot push myself in my wheelchair, but am dependent on others for the least thing.
At the same time, I am entering a new phase of life. The kids are almost all grown, and there are no grandkids here that I can mother or grandmother. I am able to focus on myself and only on myself. Mostly. I am neither tied to place nor people.
So what do I do? As I am suddenly free to go places and do things, I am unable to play piano and guitar, to type, to knit…
I find that the people I most identify with are survivors like myself. It almost doesn’t matter survivors of what – most recently I am a survivor of abuse by a doctor, but my history is full of things from incest to the death of the only person that ever was a parent to me (ironically one of my perps), and brain damage due to severe anemia to name just a few. All of that requires going through some of the grieving process. I’ve actually gotten quite good at it. I almost speed through it – the art of losing things, as it were.
So let me put myself out there first as a survivor. Then as a homeschooler, homeopath, old-time computer geek, stay-at-home mother, frustrated grandmother, photographer, knitter and fibre artist, amateur musician, reader, writer, animal-rescuer. Friend.
I’m going to keep posting photographs when I can. Writing when I can. Everything depends on my higher power, Hashem, creater, C-WHY (Cosmic What-Have-You). I will do my best with all my difficulties to be here, hoping for connection.
See you next time!