Not quite ready to poke my head out

I couldn’t write last night or today, too busy worrying about a visit from the doctor – which went about as well as could be expected. We’re going to try some mild pain medication and she filled out a form for me that I need to get my driving lessons. Learning to drive with hand controls. I really like the idea of being able to drive again.

Because I was fretting, I didn’t write about the two rocket alerts yesterday. Of course they said afterwards that they were false alarms, but that didn’t stop us from having to drop everything and run for the centre of the house. On the plus side, I (finally) figured out how to have a chair in the hallway so I don’t have to stand the whole time, which is physically so debilitating that I can’t function afterward. So we are supposedly having a ceasefire – and maybe we are, you couldn’t tell by me – it hasn’t affected my life yet.

Standing around in the hallway chatting about whether or not those booms we heard ‘count.’ I don’t know. Can’t begin to guess. All I know is that if there is another tseva adom today, I am heading for the hallway if I can, or covering my head with a pillow and praying.

My soldier daughter got off from base early today, which is really nice. We were invited to a house-warming party up north, and thought we just might make it since she was home so early, but it hasn’t worked out. 😦 I would have really loved to go. I suppose it’s good because we also have planned a trip to a petting zoo tomorrow, and that would be way too much for me.

It’s not just about the war, and not just about being disabled, it is everything that combines to make so many things that I would like to do impossible, or at the very least un-recommended. If only the house-warming could have been next week (assuming the war is really over), or if we could have more warning. Or if my daughter wasn’t tied to her base here in the south, or if I already had my car, or … Well, I’m sad, but it isn’t the first gathering I’ve missed and it won’t be the last.

In the meantime we are trying to adjust to the idea that there is more to life than surviving this thing, while at the same time not sure that that is true. Another few days of quiet and I suspect we’ll start poking our heads out and checking out the world around us, with an eye to participating more in ‘real’ life. I have things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to see. If the quiet – such as it is – holds.

Anyway that is it for today. I’m going to try to post some photos from the Safari trip and maybe even some of my knitting in the next few days. If it works out then I’m moving on to another thread. I don’t know why doing the photos is so hard. Taking them, no problem, getting them on the computer, small problem. Processing them and posting them, huge problem. Maybe I’ll even figure that out someday.

Enjoy the rest of summer (unless you’re in the southern hemisphere) wherever you are at. Our summer is shot, but perhaps we’ll manage a few outings yet.

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4 thoughts on “Not quite ready to poke my head out

  1. I have quite the full plate when it comes to health issues but I’m not so naive that I don’t see how privileged I am. I’m sure there are things you can be thankful for but personally I’m so happy I’m not living in amidst conflict. I find your posts genuinely interesting for a variety of reasons but also sadly due to the fact that you’re living in a war torn area.
    Everyone takes everything for granted.

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment. I do have a great deal to be grateful for, and one of the things is that I hear from people like yourself who let me know that I am not entirely alone. I love your blog, btw – I’m lousy at leaving comments is all.

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