I think the war is getting me down

Every time I try to write something, something happens to put it off. The most recent being (of course) a tseva adom – rocket alert.

I’m getting really tired of these things. The fact that we had one at 2a.m. and then I was unable to fall asleep may have something to do with it. Youngest son didn’t even wake up – oldest son managed to sleep-walk him from the family room, where he’s been sleeping, because he can’t hear the rocket alerts in his room, out to the hallway; and then back to the sofa in the family room when it was over.

We are all falling over tired and trying not to take it out on one another. The cost of all of these rockets is so much more than the casualty count. No one really takes that into account. My whole family is severely affected. I am really grateful that we like one another enough, and are good enough at coping with stressful situations, that we are not at each other’s throats after all of this. It would be no surprize.

When the ground incursion started, we noticed a whole new series of booms. Now we get to hear the booms from the big guns, which don’t sound like rockets or the like. They go Ba-BOOM and while they don’t shake the house, they do shake the nerves quite effectively.

Our plans for today were to take it easy, TH fixed a few things around the house. Oldest son is trying to finish a writing project. Youngest daughter is catching up on friends and stuff online and doing housework. I’m trying to stay relatively calm, and sane, and having a harder time about it than usual. I’m afraid the next obstacle will overset me. So I am in my room with the door shut, and only Chamudah, the short-legged black dog who thinks she owns me.

Please, Hashem, give me a long enough time without excitement that my nerves can settle down a little and I can maybe even accomplish something – like working on my daughter’s lace shawl, and finishing writing a blog post.

So, so tired.

I’ve no idea how long this is going to go on, but I do know that if it goes on long enough, even the tiniest hope of maintaining anything like normal life will go out of the window.

Oh, and I checked out the bomb shelter at the entrance to the moshav last night, the one window on the side is broken, and the entrance faces Gaza, so that a missile could, theoretically, go right into the bomb shelter and blow up there. Who wasn’t thinking?

Well, having a bomb shelter at the entrance to the moshav has one advantage for me. I can take walks in the evenings, walk to the bomb shelter, rest there and walk back. It isn’t *quite* as insane as walking without any cover at all. 😉 I need my walks, for both mental and physical health.

Wishing everyone a quiet and peaceful weekend, with as much joy as you can manage.


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